Toi et Moi Ring Meaning & Buyer's Guide

"You and me"... a romantic, age-old sentiment describing a bond between two people; a beautiful concept that illustrates the strength of true love. Toi-et-Moi rings are the perfect representation of that love, and they're one of our favorite styles of rings. Read on to learn more!

First of all, what does Toi-et-Moi mean?

Toi-et-Moi simply means "you and me" in French. It makes perfect sense why many couples choose this design as their engagement ring! The idea of one stone representing each partner is romantic and balanced.

What exactly is a Toi-et-Moi ring? 

Toi-et-Moi engagement rings feature two stones of approximately the same size, set together in one harmonious ring. Settings can vary, from side-by-side stones, to a wrap-around style, to off-set diamonds, and beyond. This is part of the beauty of these special rings - each one is incredibly unique in design! 

For example, the Amelie ring features a perfectly-paired old mine cut diamond and a vibrant pink sapphire. This Victorian antique is full of romance and whimsy.


The Emarata ring features a wrap-around style shank that brings a glowing emerald and sparkling diamond to meet in the center. These two stones are just the perfect amount of off-set from each other, creating a lovely balance.


The Lizabeth ring  is an Edwardian antique that stacks a deep-red ruby directly above an old European cut diamond. The ring is enhanced by two additional old European cuts, as well as side diamonds along the shoulder.

The Perry ring also has vertical placement of the stones, but this style is a bit more elongated. This Art-Deco era antique features a stunning diamond and bright ruby separated by an old-cut diamond in the center and embraced by artful diamond encrusted shoulders.

Is there a certain era that the Toi-et-Moi ring associated with? 

While this style dates back to the 18th century (more on that later!), we see Toi-et-Moi rings from each era of jewelry design. 

A Victorian-era antique, the Chamberry ring pairs two creamy saltwater pearls in an intricate, floral motif that is typical of the period. This rings dates back to the 1890s.


Two matching champagne diamonds accompany each other in the Laramine ring, an Edwardian-era antique piece. This feminine and striking ring comes to us from the 1910s. 


The Sardonyx ring is a gorgeous Art-Deco era antique, with two centers stones surrounded by swooping baguette shoulders. From the 1920s, this ring makes quite the statement!



The Serafina ring showcases two lovely diamonds off-set from each other, perfectly balanced by its waved gold band. This piece from the Mid-Century era (circa 1950) is both sleek and whimsical. 

 How do I pair a band with a Toi-et-Moi ring?

While it may seem tricky to pair a Toi-et-Moi ring with a band due to their unusual shape, there are actually a few options that can work nicely! Our Curved band works beautifully with the Emarata 2.98 ring, as shown here:

If you love a diamond-heavier look, the Curved Allure also works great! Here it is shown with Lizabeth for a bit more glitz: 


We also love our V band with certain Toi-et-Moi rings. Here is the Laramine ring paired with the V for a subtle look: 

And sometimes, a straight band works just great, too! Here is the Braxton ring, an amazing Art-Deco antique, paired our Piper band

How do I clean my Toi-et-Moi ring? 

Very much the way you would clean any ring! Which we have plenty of tips for :) 

But first off, an important note! If your Toi-et-Moi ring contains emeralds, pearls, opals or other soft gemstones (which many do!), be sure to be very careful while cleaning and only use warm water (never hot water). 

Follow these steps to get your ring extra shiny and sparkly: 

  1. Using a mixture of hot water and mild dish soap (hand soaps generally have moisturizers in them that can leave residue), let your ring soak for about 3-5 minutes.
  2. You can scrub it gently with an infant toothbrush, focusing on the underside and those nooks and crannies that Toi-et-Moi rings can often have. These tight spaces are typically where dirt accumulates and dulls your stone’s shine.
  3. Follow with a rinse in warm water, making sure the drain is covered.
  4. To dry, use a 100% cotton towel, let it air dry, or use a hair dryer.

Are Toi-et-Moi rings safe for everyday wear? 

Yes, Toi-et-Moi rings are safe to wear everyday as long as they are worn appropriately. Just be mindful of whacking or smashing the stone and remove the ring at appropriate times such as when you sleep, shower, workout, or are lifting heavy things.

As we've mentioned in regards to cleaning, if your ring contains a softer stone, like an emerald, pearl, or opal, make sure to take extra care to protect it! This being said, millions of people safely wear these rings daily. Just be sure to get insurance- which is what we recommend with any stone!

We also strongly recommend 6-month and 1-year prong and setting check ups to make sure your ring is as safe as the day you received it. You can always bring it to us for a complimentary cleaning and safety check.

Can I create a custom Toi-et-Moi ring?

If you're interested in creating a custom Toi-et-Moi ring, you've come to the right place! The following steps outline how the custom process works: 

1. Choose your AB-Made setting, such as our Emarata ring. We are sometimes able to accommodate minor adjustment requests.

2. Establish a budget and any desired diamond specs. Custom projects start at $15,000.

3. We will source diamond options and send them to you for approval. We consider the stones to be part of the art that we create, so for that reason we only create custom pieces when we source the stones. Please note that supply of authentic antique stones is very limited, especially 2-3ct true old mine cuts. Therefore you may need to have some flexibility with your wish list or budget if you desire a true antique diamond for your Toi-et-Moi ring.

4. Once you select your diamonds a 50% deposit is required to begin the project. Deposits for custom rings are non-refundable but are transferable. Custom projects take 6-12 weeks to create once a deposit is received.

5. Once your ring is completed the remaining 50% payment is due prior to us shipping you the ring or you picking it up. Please understand you are commissioning us to create you a custom piece, therefore custom projects are final sale with no refunds or exchanges offered. 

In Conclusion

While this style has recently become quite on-trend, the Toi-et-Moi ring has spanned centuries, solidifying this style as a timeless choice! If you've fallen in love with the Toi-et-Moi ring, shop all of of our beautiful ones here!



December 27, 2022 — Darren Boulton

Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.